Remember back when it was cool to judge? I’m talkin’ 1950’s Leave it to Beaver judging! Back when you were unequivocally justified in shunning someone simply because they adorned a checked plaid patterned suit instead of a solid black or charcoal? (This really happened in the show. Thank you, Netflix.) Those were the good ole days… but they’re in the past for a reason. There are some of us, apparently, who are determined to see it make a comeback. Unfortunately for you, embracing this urge to judge is a surefire way to quickly escalate yourself to the Beav’s DAD status… which brings us to our first lesson:
simple step #1: Quit having ill-informed opinions.
I’m defining “judging” as “making an irresponsible assumption about the quality of one’s character.” Understand that everyone judges. EVERYONE. The goal is to recognize that we do it and to make a concerted effort not to. It’s the ones who choose to persist in their judgement that are elevated to lame status which I think we can universally agree is a bad thing. (Unless your name is Joseph Wapner. He was always fair and highly informational …he gets a pass)
Here are some examples of poor judgements:
Oh, he’s a person of faith? The quality of his intellect must be deficient.
Oh, she doesn’t believe in God? The quality of her ability to love must be deficient.
Oh, he’s Asian? The quality of his ability to drive is suspect. (well… I… I’m gonna let that one slide.)
Oh this person is riddled with tattoos? They need to grow up and get a job. (good luck, having the tattoos and all)
Oh, she spends all of her extra income on make up and fashion? The quality of her humility must be lacking.
Oh, this person isn’t like ME? He is incapable of being a decent human being and probably has no feelings at all.
We should not weigh in on the quality on one’s character after having witnessed NONE-percent of who they are and how they live. This is disingenuous because each of us has the very same fear… the fear of being misunderstood. When you judge, you immediately cut off any pathway to understanding anyone around you. You make a statement that says, “I have already peaked and cannot be helped in any way by him or her.” You stiffen your posture in life and are incapable of evolving into a better person.
TL;DR – Don’t be too quick to weigh in on someone’s character without watching their lives… you run the risk of irresponsibly hurting others and overestimating your own propriety.